1. Fact #1: This man does not exist.
2. Fact #3: The Lochness Monster is real.
The Lochness Monster is twenty-one inches long and has two fingers.
We have no evidence of this, but if you think about it, it's true.
4. Fact #4: If you stick your finger up your ass, you will now have a finger up your ass.
"Yo, what the fuck? Why is a finger up my ass?"
6. Fact #5: If you ever think someone is judging you, they are, and they hate you.
7. Fact #5: Human flesh and body parts decompose quicker and are consumed by fish faster when you throw them in a river.
This shows that they will not be eaten by fish if you do not throw them into a river.
9. Fact #9: Famous World Leader Angela Merkel had one testicle.
"Quite frankly, I do not know why she keeps going. If I had one testicle, I would collapse on the spot."
- Donald Trump
We have reached out to our CEO, Geary Becker, who has a singular testicle, about this fact.
11. Fact #10: This man will find you, if you do not install NordVPN.
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