Joe Biden Set to Duel President Trump

A duel between the Donald Trump and Joe Biden has been officially confirmed. Here's what we know.

Posted  32 Views updated 19 days ago

Recap

On Saturday, Donald J. Trump sent orders to get Joe Biden's campaign to respond to his duel offer. On Monday, Donald J. Trump laid out his rules for the duel.                                                                                                                    

Best of 5 Fox Only

Items: Off

Stage: Final Destination

In Person Location: House Chamber                                                                                                                                        

As of now, President Trump has not made any changes to his rulings.  The Biden Campaign has responded, and we have their response here.

The Biden Campaign Response

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The Biden Campaign responded with the following remark from Vice President Joe Biden.

 

"Super Smash Brothers? Is that the game made by them Japanese folks? I wrote that crime bill for a reason."              Vice President Joe Biden (Wednesday 1:00 AM)

 

Joe Biden followed up with rules he would like to have.

 

"Items on, Trump. I refuse to play without my old pal Bomb-omb. We also need to have the capsule for the families of this nation that sit at their table every night while missing a family member due to the virus. C'mon, man!"                Vice President Joe Biden (Wednesday 10:05 AM)

 

Whether items will be on or off is still up for debate. Conservatives argue against the idea for the sake of conserving skill. While liberals argue for items for the sake of skill equality of all.  The Biden Campaign agreed to the rest of the rulings placed by Donald J. Trump, though suspicions are raised due to the fact that Joe Biden is well known for banning Final Destination in his previous Smash Bros. tournaments in the 2000s. 

The President slammed Joe Biden with the following response.

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President Trump has sent a tweet to oppose the Biden ruleset. In addition the president exclaimed to our reporter a response directed at his competitor Joe Biden. 

"I'm tired of waiting, the people are tired of waiting, the organizers are tired of waiting. Joe. You need to come out of the basement on your Animal Crossing island and stop hiding. I've been more ready for this fight than you have been ready to be a president in the past four great years. This is going to be a bodying the likes of which you have never seen before."                                                                                                                                                            Donald J. Trump (Monday 1:11 PM)

 

We are still waiting for a response from the Biden campaign. 

Updates on Attendees

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As of this moment, confirmed attendees are as follows:

 

Senator Ted Cruz, Texas.

Senator "Chuck" Schumer, New York.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson, United Kingdom.

Former President Barack Obama, United States of America.

Former Vice President "Dick" Cheney, United States of America.

CEO of FUNNYSMASHRELATABLE Geary Becker, Oregon.

 

It is assumed that all Former Presidents, Representatives, Governors, and Senators will be invited, but we are waiting on a response from the Trump Administration. As for how all will be seated is still unknown.
The Secret Service is very alarmed by this activity as it is highly dangerous to keep this amount of important people within the same building, going as far as to believe that it is a National Security Issue, far greater than Global Warming. 
The Secret Service has not been alerted that President Bashar al-Assad of Syria is planning to attend.

 

Many more are suspected of attending, such as Former President George W. Bush, Former Female Michelle Obama, and Former Rapist Kevin Spacey. We have requested opinions from other Politicians on this duel.

We have asked the following people for their opinion:

Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of the UK

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"A marvelous display, I would really love to moderate this event and even commentate it if I had the chance."

- Boris Johnson

"Chuck" Schumer, Senator from New York

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"My heart goes out to Joe Biden in this battle, I fear his fingers may break."

- "Chuck" Schumer

Ted Cruz, Senator from Texas

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"I have talked to the IRS and confirmed that Trump's new controller will be tax-free."

- Ted Cruz

 

Note: We have followed up requesting information about President Trump's new controller. A response is not guaranteed

Barack Obama, Former US President

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"I am uhhhhh. Riden with Biden."

- Barack Obama

Richard Nixon, Former US President

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Former President Richard Nixon has not gotten back to us with a quote, as of yet.

Details

The duel, formally known as "The Big White House 2020," will be taking place on 11/22/2020.

It is unknown as of now how this will affect the 2020 US Presidential Election.

It is also unknown whether any professional E-sports teams will be financially supporting either of the two competitors. Though the mostly apolitical nature of such companies and organizations make us think the answer is more likely to be no than yes. 

We'll keep you updated as events unfold.


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1 Comments

Dave "Bobbyson" Jones
Dave "Bobbyson" Jones

Can't wait

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